flood

there’s so many things that i want to write about right now. so many thoughts are flooding my brain!

i want to write about the time that i really felt betrayed by someone. duh. it was not his fault. it was my fault that i expected more from a stranger.

i want to write about how excited i am for my OJT this summer. but since up until now i still haven’t decided where i will have my OJT, i am worried too. should i choose being away from home for almost two months and get out of my comfort zone, or should i just settle for security and refuse to take the risk?

i want to write about how excited i am for my father’s arrival. there’s so many things that i want to tell him. i miss him so much. i just realized that half of my life, he’s not with me. i’m 19 now and he left to work abroad when i was 10. growing up without him is really hard.

i also want to write about how i enjoyed our “haircut day” with my friends. i missed spending time with the five of them. i mean we hang out everyday but it was only now that the six of us are present. haha. because of busy schedules and other priorities, we seldom find time to catch up and it really sucks because being the oversensitive person that i am, i sometimes feel that they’re drifting away. hehe. but i am happy that nothing has changed in the friendship that we built.

the thoughts are gushing back and forth so fast.. faster than my typing skills… and my eyes are slowly getting sleepy.. so maybe i’ll just confide these to my ever loyal and loving confidante who never gets tired of my inconsistency. i miss talking to him.

– darksphere

internship + school work + global recession

i have a lot of things in my mind right now. i am so worried about my internship. it’ll be february next week and that means i am running out of time in searching for companies to apply for OJT(on-the-job training)/internship. by march it should be finalized. i still need to go to Davao for our little vacation and of course to visit my grandma. i miss the Davao-life so much so i can’t miss that opportunity to visit before i start my OJT.

school’s boring me to death. i really hate my schedule. most of my classes are in the afternoon and it usually rains in the afternoon. so since i hate walking in the rain in the mud, sometimes i skip classes. fortunately, during my lazy days, our teachers don’t come to school also. haha. everything’s conspiring for my benefit eh? but what i hate more about my studies is that my teachers are not pressuring us. haha. i mean we still don’t have deadlines,  they are still not giving us hints that we’ll need to start sooner or else we’ll fail. ugh. i don’t understand them. i don’t want to panic when the end of the semester is nearing! is this some kind of a tactic against students? haha. i really need to start working on those requirements ASAP. as much as possible, i can’t let them win. haha

so Obama is now the 44th president of the United States. i honestly like him. he doesn’t only have the charisma that won him the presidency, but he has this vibe/feel that he really is someone very different from all the others. like anything he wants or orders, i won’t doubt if people will follow because majority knows it’s for the good of everybody. i really hope America will be able to counter this financial crisis so that the dependent economies will also recover. i am aware about this crisis since it started maybe but it was not THAT big of a deal to me before. i mean, i’m affected of the soaring high of prices but what i found out today really left me thinking deeply. then i started to panic. haha. i need to find a job. no i need to do better in my studies. ok i need at least a part-time job. but how about my scheduled overnights for our school requirements? hahaha. then.. silence.. i need to relax. haha things can sometimes go out of hand but God’s not gonna leave me. because of what i found out today, i realized that i need to set my priorities straight from now on. i think i discarded a lot of things that i should be mainly considering. maybe this is a way of reminding me what are practically more important.

-darksphere

Christmas Break with Kyle

because of the twin explosions that happened in our city last thursday, and the discoveries of more bombs over the weekend, i have no choice but to stay home. we cancelled our trip to CDO and my bonding-moment with my bestfriend is also postponed. i have nothing left to do. so.. i watched DVDs and sort of had downloads-and-kpop-updates break. haha. i just use the internet now to check my mails and blogs.  weee. this is another way to free myself from worries about the on-going bombings and school requirements. i am truly enjoying my break. 🙂

i am currently having a Kyle XY marathon and watched Korean movies in between. Ever since Prison Break, i’ve never been interested with other series again. i am so inlove with this show. even though it’s a Sci-Fi series, everything that they portray about life, love, friendship and family seemed so natural for me. it’s what i like most about the show. because they can all happen in real life. they show us the most perfect imperfect side of everything in the series – the Trager family, Lori-Declan and Kyle-Amanda love story, teenage life, teenage love, views about sex, child rearing, imperfections of parents and children, ups and downs of friendships, and life itself. ugh. i promised myself not to get attached too much with TV shows but i really have this tendency. this is also what happened to me during my Prison Break period. haha. and it took me a lot of time to get over the Scofield fever. well, i’m still in the middle of the second season of Kyle XY so there’s still much to find out. i’m excited. and after this i still have to finish Prison Break’s third season. actually the fourth season is airing now but i still haven’t finished the previous season because i was so busy with my studies so now’s the right time to catch up.

yup. i acually have lots of reading assignments but… i think i’ll go back studying after Christmas. i’ll just enjoy this break.  i didn’t have a nice semestral break last november anyway. and besides, summer break is still approx 3.5 months away. i’m really gonna miss this.

movies/TV shows i watched over the break :

• 200 Pounds of Beauty – i love this movie!
• My Tutor Friend – Kwon Sang Woo’s really adorable!
• I’m a Cyborg but it’s Okay – i honestly didn’t understand the film. i need to watch it again.
• My Girl and I – i really love it when Cha Tae Yon’s stars in a movie. he’s really a good actor. Song Hye Kyo’s there too.
• 2008 Asia Song Festival – watched it on Arirang. well, parts of it. since we were also watching My Only Hope in ABS-CBN at the same time.
• Golden Disk Awards – i discovered a nice song from MC Mong.!
• Kyle XY – oh.. this one is love. everytime Kyle speaks… lots of quotable quotes. haha. it’s my feel-good show now.

the above list + time with my sisters + lots of time to sleep = happy me..

yeah. i’m trying to ignore the political and security issues. i’m trying hard to feel excited for Christmas which by the way is still not working. hmmm.. sometimes we run away from our troubles and worries because we want to protect ourselves from believing the hurtful reality that life can’t always be like the way we want it to be. hahahhaaa. where’d i get that?? effect of my ‘attachment’ to Kyle XY ei? dunno..

i knew that Korean dictionary will be helpful. haha. everytime i watch Korean movies, i held it beside me to help me remember some Korean words and what they mean. i’m still on with my frustration. i hope i’m making progress.

– darksphere