frustrated..

i claimed this year to be my year but why are these things happening now? we’re still not done with our thesis, i might not graduate, and Super Junior is coming to Manila for Super Show 2 and I have no money. T___T

no matter how i try to be optimistic of what will happen in the next 3 months i’m so afraid.. of failing again and of missing the concert i’ve been dreaming to attend..

i still believe things will turn out fine..  i feel like my head is going to explode everytime i think of all these problems.. i can’t even solve my postgresql trigger problem. this is just so… frustrating. T____T

no matter what, 2010 is still gonna be my year. it’s still january and too early to say that the rest 2010 will turn out bad.

here’s one of my favorite songs from Super Junior..everything will be okay.. aja!!

Super Junior – Wonder Boy

(Lyrics English Translation)

You can choose your future
The concept of your life
I’m doing well, I’m a fine person.
Trust yourself. Look into the mirror
With the light glimmering around
You as you smile

There could be a sad memories that make you cry
Don’t forget that you have a shoulder to lean on in this world
I have the whole world in my heart…
Lets keep running. For tomorrow, for our future
To become a shining light under the sun
I’m Wonder Boy! Yeah!

He always has a secret but it’s
Easy to find the answers dance with me.
Just move your body to the music.
Don’t be afraid, Girl
You don’t have to fear
Anything except fear itself

There could be a sad memories that make you cry
I’m the one who’ll start and end it.
Let there be light and become a shining star
The sun is welcoming me with rays of light…
I just need one umbrella and that’ll be fine
Don’t hide your tears from me. Yeah!
You can lean on my shoulder and cry out loud
Looking at the crimson red sun setting in the sky…

It’s a spectacle that the heavens have given me
There’s no end. A bright future lies ahead of you
The sun bathes me with it’s warm light under the blue sky
I just need one umbrella and that’ll be fine
To become a shining light under the sun

Lalala, lalalalala, lalalala,
Lalalala, lalalalala, lalalalala

The sun is welcoming me with rays of light…
I just need one umbrella
And that’ll be fine
I’m Wonder Boy! Yeah!

an encounter

so there’s a radio station here that has a Korean segment every night and i got hooked in listening and requesting. gah. i’ve been tuning in every night for two weeks now. but tonight was a different experience.

i hope i can just not talk about it. but i can’t.. it was just.. different.

he did nothing but tease me and piss me off. but i liked that conversation. weird ei? he also said i’m a weirdo.

well maybe i’m a weirdo. it was such an unexpected conversation. i just called up to do my friend a favor but something else happened. i forgot about everything i am supposed to do and spent an hour of my life talking to someone i don’t even know. i enjoyed it. that one-hour encounter was a fraction of my life that i came out of my box. for the first time. this big smile painted in my face right now.. i can’t explain it.

back to reality. i still have lots of school requirements to make.

– darksphere

heart?

…Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s The Rainy Day

this is actually my favorite verse from a poem.

___________________________________________

no matter how the head tells the the heart,

the heart doesn’t seem to hear anything..

but what pleases its ears..

no matter how dark,

the eyes still sees everything it wants to see

because the heart draws the picture..

stupid nga heart.! magbuot buot!! T.T

– darksphere

Viva la Vida

WOW. i’m just amazed of this song. from how i found out about it and then to the lyrics. i’ve been so into Kpop music for the past 7 months. i didn’t even know that this song became number one in the US and UK charts AND this song became one of “the most successful songs of 2008.” the first time i read the lyrics, i did not understand it. i researched about the meaning of the song and dang i was bombarded with lots of links [thanks google, galibog kog samot haha joke] and when i read them, i figured that the meanings where so different in every site i opened. after playing it on repeats in my playlist and reading and rereading the lyrics, i realized that i also had a different understanding of the song. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. we judge, perceive, and understand something based on our experiences and because we have different experiences we have different judgement, perception, and understanding of a certain thing. so i did not bother to read the remaining links anymore. a poetry/lyrics/song becomes beautiful for us because of how we understand it – how our hearts relate to it.

here’s the lyrics:

VIVA LA VIDA - COLDPLAY

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the King!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
Once you know there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
(Ohhh)

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People could not believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be King?

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world
(Ohhhh Ohhh Ohhh)

Hear Jerusalem bells are ringings
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
(Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh)

______________________________________________

thanks to bands like coldplay and lifehouse, my belief that there are still musicians nowadays who still strive to write beautiful and meaningful lyrics is still alive.

______________________________________________

carpe diem et tu memento mori – seize the day for you must remember tomorrow you die

viva la vida – live the life

______________________________________________

to the one who introduced me to this song.. indeed there are so many things about you that i still don’t know. you’re very deep.

______________________________________________

to myself : could this be the one?

– darksphere

PS : i don’t know how to upload an mp3 file here from my computer. listen to the song here or in imeem or esnips.

a little break?

after the unsuccessful defense, i cried my heart out. lucky for me i had beautiful friends and a great family who comforted me. i can’t say i’m ok now i’m still depressed but i decided to look on the bright side – i still have 3 days or so to spend a little semester break and i already did what our teacher wants to be corrected in our system. so what’s next? i need to wait for our next defense and that would be after enrollment period. i don’t know what subjects can i enroll to( since i still have this INC grade) or if i can still enroll. i really hope this will be over soon. i don’t want to be delayed. sighs.

yesterday was a blast. a lot of misfortunate events happened but we decided to just laugh it all off when we got home.

today, i don’t know what’s going to happen but i’m gonna enjoy the rest of my little sembreak. i hope i could hang out with my bestfriends. i miss them badly.

and i found this song! Rainbow by Southborder. Southborder’s one of my favorite OPM bands and i especially love this song. i need to listen to these kind of songs. my “uppers..” hehe! i’m listening to it now. here are the lyrics.

RAINBOW – SOUTHBORDER

Fallin’ out, fallin’ in
Nothing’s sure in this world no, no
Breakin’ out, breakin’ in
Never knowin’ what lies ahead
We can really never tell it all no, no, no
Say goodbye, say hello
To a lover or friend
Sometimes we never could understand
Why some things begin then just end
We can really never tell it all no, no, no

But oh, can’t you see?
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
So baby, just smile
Coz im always around you
And ill make you see how beautiful
Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies’ colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be

Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me?
THERE’S A RAINBOW ALWAYS AFTER THE RAIN

Ohh, whoa

Hittin’ high, hittin’ low
Win or lose you should go, yeah yeah
Getting warm, getting cold
Weather could be so good or bad
But baby this is life now don’t get mad no, no, no

Coz oh, cant you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
So baby, please smile
Coz im always around you
And ill make you see how beautiful
Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies’ colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There’s a rainbow always after the rain

Life’s full of challenges
Not all the time we get what we want
But don’t despair my dear coz I know now
You’ll take each trial and you’ll make it through the storm
Coz you’re strong, my faith in you is clear
So ill say once again this world’s wonderful and
Let us celebrate life that’s so beautiful, so beautiful
Ohhhh

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies’ colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
THERE’S A RAINBOW ALWAYS AFTER THE RAIN..

i’m still blessed. 🙂

-darksphere

if i were a boy..

BEYONCE – “IF I WERE A BOY” LYRICS

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

(Chorus)

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

(Chorus)

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

you got it Beyonce.. i bet many ladies shed tears because of this song. i like it a lot. need i explain more? the lyrics said it all. i hope, there would be a day, once a year that there will be like an exchange of genders – guys will be ladies and vice versa. so that they would be reminded once in a while how it feels to be a girl. it’s not easy guys. being the more emotive gender, girls need more understanding than you do.

phew. today, we’re going to have our final defense for Software Engineering I. i hope our teacher will have mercy. we went through a lot because of this. i hope all the sacrifices will pay off. i hope. i pray. i’ll be back to update about the defense later.

if i were a boy, i won’t hurt a girl. because i know how bad it feels and how hard it is to get up again.

–darksphere